BEING A GOOD PARENT COULD ACTUALLY TAKE A TOLL ON A PARENT'S HEALTH. THIS IS ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY BY RESEARCHERS AT NORTHWESTERN. THEY LOOKED INTO PARENTS THAT ARE EXTREMELY EMPATHETIC AND REALIZE THAT THE MORE EMPATHETIC A PARENT IS, THE MORE LIKELY THEY ARE TO HAVE INFLAMMATION. AT FIRST YOU READ THE HEADLINE, BEING A GOOD PARENT WILL PHYSIOLOGICALLY DESTROY YOU. ANYTHING THAT IS CRAZY TALK. BUT ONCE THEY EXPLAIN IT, YOU GET IT. I KNOW WHEN MY KIDS ARE HURT, I FEEL HURT.
CAN THEN THAT TRANSLATE INTO SOMETHING GOING WRONG WITH ME? PROBABLY. IF YOU ARE HAVING AN EMOTION IN YOUR HEAD IS GOING TO HAVE PHYSICAL REACTION IN YOUR BODY. YES. MAYBE MY MOM. MY MOM IS THE MOST EMPATHETIC MOTHER IMAGINABLE THAT IF I EVER GO THROUGH ANYTHING DRAMATIC OR SAD, OR IF I'M DEPRESSED, SHE HAS A PHYSICAL REACTION TO IT. GROWING UP I USED TO THINK SHE IS OVERREACTING, BUT NO, IT'S REAL.
IT HAS PHYSICAL RAMIFICATIONS WHEN HER CHILD IS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING TERRIBLE. IT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE HER KIDS GOING THROUGH THAT KIND OF PAIN. WHEN YOU ARE EMPATHETIC YOU FEEL THEIR PAIN.
I HAVE BEEN DOING IT ALL WRONG. I THINK THE LESSON HERE IS DON'T UNDERESTIMATE HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO BE A GOOD PARENT. I DON'T THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A SACRIFICE IT IS TO BE A PARENT. I KEEP GOING BACK AND FORTH AS TO WHETHER OR NOT I WANT TO HAVE KIDS. I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS. I DON'T KNOW IF I'M CUT OUT FOR IT. I CAN ASSURE YOU IT IS A MINOR PROBLEM COMPARED TO OTHER THINGS. THERE ARE MANY DOWNSIDES, WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT ON THE SHOW, BUT IT'S A UNIQUE FEELING. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO UNDERSTAND IT UNLESS YOU HAVE IT. DON'T GET ME WRONG, IT'S ALSO A GIANT PAIN IN THE ASS.
YOU MAKE THE CALL. WELL, THERE ARE WAYS TO MITIGATE THIS. USUALLY WHEN YOU TAKE PARENTING CLASSES, OR PARENTING THERAPY THERE IS A HUGE EMPHASIS ON EMPATHY. FEEL EMPATHY FOR YOUR CHILDREN OR FAMILY MEMBERS. BUT WHAT RESEARCHERS ARE SAYING IS THAT THAT TYPE OF THERAPY SHOULD ALSO FOCUS ON SELF-CARE. MAKING SURE PARENTS ARE TAKING CARE OF THEMSELVES AS WELL AS THEIR CHILDREN'S WELL-BEING. A LOT OF PARENTS ARE SELFLESS, AND THAT IS HUMAN NATURE. THEY FORGET ABOUT TAKING CARE OF THEMSELVES, AND THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING EITHER.
NOW THAT I HAVE HAD KIDS, I CAN'T BELIEVE PARENTS THAT DON'T CARE ABOUT THEIR KIDS. THERE IS A LOT OF THEM. HOW COULD YOU NOT CARE? IT'S AMAZING. I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES IN A SENSE. I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY HAVE A LOW OPINION OF THEMSELVES, THIS KID CAME FOR ME, HE IS SHITTY TWO. I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY, BUT SINCE I AM AN EGOMANIAC, I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT HOW MY KIDS ARE SO IMPORTANT. THEY ARE WORTHY OF SO MUCH LOVE. WELL, IN THAT CASE YOUR EGO MANIACAL BEHAVIOR IS GOOD.
